Well, This Was Inevitable: Bare-Ass Jeans

Last year was a parade of bizarre denim. We had thong jeans, ripped but jeans, transparent-knee jeans, mermaid jeans, optical illusion jeans, and plumber butt jeans (am I missing any?).

The question we’re faced with now is: when are jeans no longer jeans? What if they have no pockets, front nor back. What if the places where there should be pockets and a zipper or button fly there is, instead, nothing. And what if what’s holding them together is an oversized brass ring? Are these garments still jeans?

If the answer is yes, then these are the first jeans that ask one to attend to their bikini line. They are potentially the first jeans that require one to wear truly presentable underwear, although the low-rise phenomenon of the early nineties may have required the same, abeit to a lesser extent.

If this sort of (maybe) jeans seem like something you want in your life, I’m sorry to report that they are no longer for sale at the ASOS website. We’ll be sure to let you know if they become available once again.

In the meantime, you can live vicariously through model Annabel Myzel, who took the jeans out for a test run on the streets of London. Her verdict:

“These jeans are a little bit more risqué than what I would normally wear, and I probably wouldn’t pop them on to the local supermarket… But they would be good for a night out – and maybe in the summer with a tan.”


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